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News / Joydick improves your hand-eye coordination while paradoxically rendering you blind

News
Reading time: 1 min read

Joydick improves your hand-eye coordination while paradoxically rendering you blind

Posted by:
Kristen Spencer
on February 10, 2009 February 10, 2009

I’m saddened but not surprised by SF Media Lab’s “Joydick,” a device that lets you use your god given joystick to play retro arcade games, because who doesn’t find Centipede to be the most erotic experience ever conceived?

“The Joydick is a wearable haptic device for controlling video gameplay based on realtime male masturbation.” I love that they specify “realtime,” ’cause it’s already sad enough wanking it to Atari classics with the shadowy figure of another man looming just off camera, let alone suddenly jizzing your pants several hours later on the subway ride back to your empty studio apartment. As demonstrated in the NSFW video posted after the jump, the carefully designed strap-on interface slides over one’s man parts, allowing for four degrees of movement and rapid fire button presses via a separate ring that senses hand-strokes. It’s all about the hand-strokes.

SF Media Labs’ web site provides a list of the essential ingredients required to make your own Joydick, though they fail to deliver the obvious warning: if you ever plan on having children, do not try to play Tetris.

[youtube 8JORtc2gAsY&eurl]

Open the bio of Kristen Spencer

Kristen Spencer currently toils the days away as a graphic designer, but the written word is her true passion. Not the sweaty kind of passion. She has BA's in English Literature and Fine Arts and has 10+ years of experience reporting for various newspapers, magazines and websites, including The Florida Times Union, Folio Weekly, The St. John’s Record, Ponte Vedra Lifestyle Magazine, CountGameula and ThatVideoGameBlog.

And yeah, okay, maybe it's a little sweaty.

When she's not working hard for the money (oh so hard for it honey), she's restoring her vintage Honda motorcycle, building her street photography portfolio, and playing story-centric video games. Kristen was raised on the Sega Genesis, but had a thing for Mario on the side, which psychologists believe to be the root of her current console fidelity issues. Thankfully, her PlayStation, Xbox, and Nintendo Switch are perfectly content in this polyamorous relationship. Meanwhile, the Ouya watches through the window, its tears mixed with the rain.

Tags JoydickSF Media Lab

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