Sonic
Sonic games after Sonic Adventure and maybe even a bit in that
In the immortal words of future Bart Simpson, “What happened to you China? You use to be cool.” Except replace China with Sonic. There was a time when Sonic would have been appearing on a list of the top ten most raddest protagonists ever. He was the coolest guy around, and then the gaming world evolved and grew up. The 90’s ended and being a radical dude really wasn’t cool anymore. Sadly, no one told Sonic and so he shoots around his games spewing tired speed jokes and acting like a total idiot. I’m not even complaining about how pitiful his recent gaming ventures have been, I’m talking about the fact that Sonic hasn’t changed a single bit in the past seventeen years and his age is showing. Instead of being fun to play with he’s a laughing stock of a character. I’m pretty sure my eyes almost rolled out of my head and down the street the last time he spoke outloud and if he tries to teach me one more life lesson about friendship I’m going to take those little animals he kept rescuing in the first game and shove them up his sword wielding ass. A SWORD!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING SEGA!?
